Review of 2008

I haven't written much in the past year, so I might as well catch you up!

January was a very tough month for me. I had to press charges against Marcus' father. A terrible drunken episode that went wrong. Work was going well, I had started to talk to quite a few different people, Craig, Doug, Brian, Josh and Eric... a little whorish? Eh, I wouldn't say that, I was just exploring different possibilities and paths I could take. Craig, well he was a good guy, but I believe he liked to lie and fool around, so I didn't want to see him again. Doug, he is adorable, but not bf material, Brian... well little did I know, Brian is married. lol. Nothing ever happened with him. Eric, he's a sweet guy, but never did we ever have time to see where it would go. I met Josh.. I worked with his mother.. more about him in later months.

February went on to be a better month. Josh and I talked a lot, things got a little heated up between us. Work was going well, I was transferred to another department, whats new, the moved me around like I changed my hair color, biweekly! Finally on the 29th, I gave up and had lunch with Josh.

Well, in March, Josh and I became very close, I was spending almost every night at his house. My life became consumed of him. Which now, that I look back, sucks. We did everything together. Marcus continued to get huge, went to school everyday and loved life!

April went about the same as March. Spent all my time at Josh's house. Marcus still got bigger and bigger.. worked stayed the same.. it sucked, they moved me around like crazy and I couldn't really stand it much longer. Olson's was driving me crazy, the drama in the work place was nutz. No one knew what they were doing. Laws and Policies were always being broken. I couldnt stand it.

In May I told Josh that it was absolutly crazy that I was paying rent in an apartment I was never at. I was basically paying storage. I hated it. My cats were going nuts because I was never home. So, we decided that we were going to look for a place, my lease was up in June, so that was the plan.

I found a great 3 bed 2 1/2 bath townhouse in June. Move in ready June 18 or 19th. That way I could have time to clean my apt for July 1st. Rent for this place is only $900 a month, however all bills are through us, water, sewer, garbage everything! Makes rent to be about 1400 a month. Alot of money if you ask me. So, we moved.

July was really a blur. I don't remember much, except on the 19th Olson's called me and laid me off. Nice. How nice of them to lay me off when I took care of everything in the department I worked in. SWEETNESS. I get to spend more time with Marcus, on the plus side it was awesome!

August was kinda a blur also.. Josh's kids came up to visit We had Alexis' birthday, her and I made her birthday cakes, she had a blast!! We went to the water park a few times at blue lake. Had Josh's dads company picnic out at Blue lake also. All the kids loved it. We had fun, minus Josh's mom and her bad attitude. She is just a simple run of the mill Bitch, but when you have to deal with it 24/7 it gets old. Mid August Josh's ex decided to walk back into his life, Christina. Josh let her destroy everything we had built, everything was so messed up that at that point I was close to moving out. It was sad. End of August, I got a phone call from my mom while she was at Thunder in the Sun up in Eastern Washington. My Uncle Huggy had a heart attack. =( We are to leave for Nebraska on the 1st or 2nd of September.

September started out with a very long car ride to Omaha, Ne. In this small SUV there were 5 of us. My mother, my son, my aunt (Linda), my cousin (CJ) and myself. OMG what a freaking mistake that was!! My aunt and I, well we don't get along much you see, she's a stupid alcoholic bitch, and I like to point it out to her. =) Yes, I'm aware that it doesn't help the situation, I cant help it. She's dumb and I need to make sure she is aware that I am aware that she is. hehe. Ok ok On a serious note here, my aunt, loved her dearly, has a huge problem and I cant save her anymore. I gave up. So since I point out to her when she complains, that she wouldnt have these huge problems, if she'd just stop drinking, it causes fights. OH well, not any huge fights in the car, other than I would get SICK everytime she drove.... she sworves to the music......... yes seriously she turns the steering wheel from side to side as she sings a song... and I had to sit sideways in the car, eating pretzles each time she drove, or sleep. Sleep wasnt much of a option, since I had to stay awake to take care of my son, who mind you, is only 2 in a half. LONG car ride for the little bugger.

We finally get there!! The day we get there it is the viewing of my uncle. Marcus is so cute in his outfit, all dressed up in his pin striped suit. So adorable. Everyone was there, the whole family, except my Uncle Don, he doesnt do funerals. Not since my uncle Jimmy died. He asked my Grandfather if he'd like him there, but Grandpa knows it'd be very hard on Don, so he told him it was ok. We'll see him in the later days. Everything went ok, so far so good. We went back to my grandfathers and things were fine. Spent time with him, and my aunts and uncle Bill.. Cousins came over for a bit, we went to dinner. Things were still fine..

The next day however, wow. The funeral went well. We had a huge family BBQ afterwards at my grandfathers house, which btw we were staying at. My Uncle Bill and I were doing all the cooking. No biggy I love to cook, and if my Huggy was there, he'd be doin it all, by himself, GET OUTA MY WAY!!! =) I miss him! So, everything was going fine, I noticed my aunt (Linda) was drinking a lot, well, whats new. Everything is about her. No matter what. Everyone left, except for my Uncle Bill & Aunt Kathy, my Aunt Linda, grandpa, my mom, son and I. I was outside with my Aunt Kathy and Marcus when I heard screaming... outa my Aunt. NICE. Its all about her again. My aunt was screaming at my grandpa about how he doesnt love her and how shes such a fuck up(yes, its true) and how he hates her because he doesnt love anyone but my mom. EH wrong sorry bucko! My Aunt Kathy, took Marcus to the back, and I went inside, My aunt is crazy and will physically hurt someone, so, I was not about to leave my mom and grandpa in there alone. Yes Bill's in there, but, I dont think he fully understood until that moment how bad it actually was. She was headed towards the stairs, now yelling at my mom, and Me, being the bright one, was like, hey Linda, why dont you shut the fuck up! She of course didnt like that, haha, and turned on me. OK Good, Lets go down stairs and talk this out, I just wanted her away from my family. Ok ok ok, not a good idea, she's on the landing, half way up and half way down the stairs...... an ugly spot to be, Marcus is out front now with Kathy, and Linda wanted to dart out the front.... UHH WRONG SORRY CRAZY LADY, you aint goin where my son is. So I kindly pointed her in a different direction, while screaming my head off cause she's putting her hands on me, I'm simply tellin ya, your not going outside, calm the fuck down and be an adult. SHE went to hit me... ha! I pushed her ass down the stairs, she caught her self. Damn!!!!! I so wanted her to fall on her ass. It would of sobered her up a bit. She changed her clothes, grabbed her purse yelled at my fam a little more, and out the door she went. My uncle called my aunt Deb to pick her ass up while all this was happening, but she was half way across town so it took a bit to get there. Linda was already gone. GOOD. My cousin was finally able to get ahold of her, and they picked her sorry ass up about 40 blocks away...OH BTW did I mention that she called me a pill poppin addict? Oh yeah, I forgot that part. Because I take zoloft to help with my depression, I'm a pill poppin addict and swallow my problems away............. shes one to talk. Needless to say, that was the last time I saw her. To this day. And I'd really like to keep it that way. I left Omaha on the uhhhhh, 16th? I think... I was there for 3 weeks. Boring. I saw family that was good. My aunt flew home that saturday, so we didnt have to deal with her ass. YAY me! Made it home safely, just took ages, since there were only 2 drivers instead of 3. But we got home none the less and all was well.

Josh, the entire time wanted me to be with him, missed me like crazy wanted me to come home to be in our bed... ahhhh lying SOB.

October was a trip. As far as I knew, Josh and I were back together, everything was fine. Marcus' birthday was coming up fast, so I didnt have much time to plan that. Ended up having a small party at my sisters house, most everyone had to work, and couldnt make it. The Guestlist: Marcus, myself, Jennie, Jessica and Emmalee (all three sisters), Bobby (sisters husband), my dad and his wife Sharon, Zach (Jessica's boyfriend), Sean and Heidi, my sisters foster children. No one else. He got all Dino's what he wanted, he loved it! It was awesome. My sister and I made his cake for him, a dino cake. We did a great job, sweetness, as I would say. lol. Halloween soon creaped up on us. Marcus was to be Batman... he was adorible. =) My little man. Josh and I were fighting alot about stupid little things, it drove me nutz. He went to a halloween party, met a new girl.

November... well... it was November. Josh lied to me telling me that Mackenzie was just a friend, which was a lie, she was his new girlfriend, however, he was telling me otherwise. He started to go out alot, and not coming home, soooo I told him to take it and shove it. I gave him my written notice to move on on 11/22/08, 30 days... on thanksgiving, I was bored while wating for my rolls to rise (yes I make homemade rolls for thanksgiving) and was browsing craigslist for fun, at pics for the men for woman posts..... I came across one, I couldnt help but LAUGH my freaking ass off the whole time, he was so damn funny I HAD to send him an email. I was compelled to email him. I sent him my myspace, and a few pics, and told him a teeny tiny bit about my self (24, single mom, live with stupid ex bf) ya know the norm..... he wrote back, I wrote back, he wrote back........ and then I gave up and said, I'm sick of running up stairs every 45 minutes to see if you wrote me back, here's my number, text me! We started to text, and talk on the phone, he is sweet and charming... what male isnt when they are trying to 'whoo' a girl? lol

December became my personal hell and heaven. Philip and I talked all the time, yes all the time. 24/7. Josh hated it! It was awesome! I physically met Philip for the first time on the 3rd, Angie was with me, she's a doll. =) I liked him a lot.. he was at the house for a while, Josh came back =( sucked ass. He was being a dumb fuck and wouldn't go away. =( Philip had to go after a few hours, back to work he went... lol. He was taking a "break" for 4 hours.... haha. I went outside with him when he went to leave, we talked for about another 45 minutes in the freezing cold... gave him a hug, for 5 minutes... ya know, that feeling when you feel like your floating and if you let go your gonna fall on your face?? I felt that way, I didnt want to let go, and neither did he. We talked for hours that night, and the next day he asked me if I wanted to go to Vegas with him over the weekend... UH YEAH! But plans fell through and tickets were way to much, soo I settled for a night at Shari's with him... I didnt get home till after 5 am. We talked and talked and talked and made out a little... He had to work Saturday night, sucked monkey butt, but what can you do? Didnt get to see him till Monday, he came over for a little bit, during work. it was great. I was falling for him, hard and fast.... man why do I gotta get attatched to someone so easily? My birthday was that Wed. I got a pretty new phone from Josh, he's till trying to get me to sleep with him... loser.. he's got a gf! Philip had decided on Tuesday, that I was his girlfriend, and anyone who had a problem with that can suck it. lol. I got a Christmas tree on my birthday, thats all I wanted was a real tree. My mom bought it for me. A beautiful Noble tree. Philip came over this night.. it is my birthday after all.. This night was the first night he spent with me. I felt so safe that I really never wanted to get outa my bed. Twas a wonderful night. We talked all the time and christmas time came around, Josh's kids are back... =( They are mean to my child. I hate it when they are here. Josh got laid off right before they got here. hahaha. Sucks, now we are stuck together, all the time. Philip had to fly down to Vegas, som jerkoff (his ex's new husband) hit is son on the face, so he left. Nice thing was, he got to spend Christmas with at least 2 of his kids. I missed him like crazy, it sucked. SOOOO when Philip got back, he came over, and Josh was a complete ass hole. He told Philip that I was lying to him and havent been honest with him about anything. Which is simply not true. I couldnt believe Josh, what is he trying to ruin my life!? Seriously??? After the weather died down(Oh yes, I forgot, we had a HUGE snow storm. Durning christmas) I went to my moms house. While at my mothers house, Josh decided to let me know, that I am a theif and he's changing the locks on the house.

Okie dokie smokie, this brings me to today. I am moving. Yes, I said it. Moving, yet again. To where.... that is a good question. I am either moving into one of Philips rentals or back to my mom's house. Yes i said it,to my moms house. =( No fun. but what can I do?? I have no choice. Josh has completely lost his god damned mind and I am not going to stay there while he is mentally abusive to me and my child. I shoud have never put Marcus in this situation. Ever. I dont need anyone throwing that into my face, because trust me, I have thought every thought you have, and have beated my self up more than you could possibly ever know.